50 Funny Things To Say To a Narcissist

Narcissists can be difficult people to deal with – they’re often self-absorbed and don’t take criticism well. But it doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom when dealing with a narcissist; We all know someone who is a narcissist – they love themselves, and they tend to think they can do no wrong. But while it can be difficult to handle them, it doesn’t have to be so serious! in fact, you can even have some lighthearted fun by throwing out a few humorous quips!

It can be hard for narcissists to accept criticism, even when it is well-intended. If you have ever found yourself in the position of talking to a narcissist, you may have wondered what funny things you could say in order to get through the conversation without offending them or making them feel worse about themselves.

In this article, we’ll discuss the 50 funniest things to say to a narcissist that will put a smile on their face (even if it’s only temporary).

Funny Things To Say To a Narcissist

Here are some Funny Things To Say To a Narcissist:

  1. “I don’t know how you manage to carry all that ego around with you every day.”
  2. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was talking to the center of the universe.”
  3. “If narcissism was an Olympic sport, you’d win the gold medal every time.”
  4. “I bet you think the sun rises and sets just for you.”
  5. “You know what they say, the bigger the ego, the bigger the fall.”
  6. “I’m surprised you haven’t trademarked your name yet.”
  7. “You must be exhausting to live with. Do you ever take a break from being fabulous?”
  8. “I’m pretty sure the dictionary has your picture next to the word ‘narcissist’.”
  9. “If you ever need a backup mirror, just look into your own reflection.”
  10. “I can’t believe you’re not a movie star with all that self-importance.”
  11. “You’re so vain, I bet you think this song is about you.”
  12. “You’re like a walking Instagram filter, always trying to enhance your own image.”
  13. “I’ve never met anyone who loves themselves as much as you do. Congratulations on the achievement.”
  14. “You know what they say, ‘it’s not the size of the ego, it’s how you use it.'”
  15. “I don’t think you’re capable of taking a compliment that doesn’t involve you.”
  16. “You should really consider donating some of that self-confidence to those in need.”
  17. “I’m pretty sure the only thing you love more than yourself is the sound of your own voice.”
  18. “You must have been the inspiration behind the phrase ‘too much of a good thing’.”
  19. “Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?”
  20. “I have to admit, you have a talent for making everything about you.”
  21. “If self-love was a crime, you’d be serving a life sentence.”
  22. “You must have a degree in narcissism because you’re an expert.”
  23. “I didn’t realize I was talking to the Queen/King of the world.”
  24. “I’m sorry, can you please move your ego aside so we can have a conversation?”
  25. “Do you ever get tired of being the most important person in the room?”
  26. “I bet you think the world revolves around you.”
  27. “You’re like a human selfie stick.”
  28. “You must have a lot of practice admiring yourself in the mirror.”
  29. “If arrogance was a superpower, you’d be a superhero.”
  30. “I’m pretty sure you can see your own reflection in your own eyes.”
  31. “I have to give it to you, you’re the reigning champion of self-promotion.”
  32. “You’re so full of yourself, I’m surprised there’s any room for anyone else.”
  33. “You’re like a walking billboard for narcissism.”
  34. “I’m surprised you’re not in a relationship with yourself.”
  35. “You must have a lot of fans – they’re all you, but still, a lot of fans.”
  36. “I can’t believe your ego didn’t burst like a balloon by now.”
  37. “You’re like a real-life version of Zoolander.”
  38. “I’m pretty sure you’re allergic to humility.”
  39. “You must be the most popular person in your own mind.”
  40. “I bet your resume starts with ‘I am the best at everything.'”
  41. “Do you ever stop to think that maybe the world doesn’t revolve around you?”
  42. “I’m pretty sure you invented the phrase ‘me, myself, and I.'”
  43. “You must have a lot of fun playing with your own reflection.”
  44. “I’ve never seen anyone so in love with themselves. It’s almost inspiring.”
  45. “You’re like a real-life version of a character from ‘The Office.'”
  46. “I bet your life motto is ‘it’s all about me.'”
  47. “You’re like a walking ego trip.”
  48. “I’m pretty sure your autobiography would be titled ‘The Life and Times of the Greatest Person Ever.'”
  49. “You must be exhausting to be around – it’s like being in a room with a giant ego balloon.”
  50. “I’m pretty sure if you had a superpower, it would be the ability to turn any conversation into a monologue about yourself.”

The Different Types of Narcissists

There are a few different types of narcissists that you may encounter.

The first type is the Classic narcissist. This person is all about themselves and their own needs and wants. They are often very charming and can be quite persuasive. They may use people to get what they want and then discard them once they have what they need.

The second type of narcissist is the Covert narcissist. This type of narcissist is not as outwardly obvious as the classic narcissist. They may be more introverted and seem to be more shy or anxious. However, they still need constant attention and approval from others. They may try to get this by being manipulative or by making others feel sorry for them.

The third type of narcissist is the Collective Narcissist. This type of narcissist believes that they are part of a special group or elite class. They often feel superior to others and think that they deserve special treatment. They may try to get this by using their power or influence to get what they want.

The fourth type of narcissist is the Grandiose narcissist. These people have a very high opinion of themselves and believe that they are superior to everyone else. They may be very arrogant and believe that they are entitled to everything they want – including your time and attention.

The fifth type of narcissist is the Vulnerable narcissist. These narcissists are often very insecure and feel like they need constant admiration from others in order to feel good about themselves. They may be very demanding and expect

How to Spot a Narcissist

It’s not always easy to spot a narcissist. They can be very charming and convincing and often come across as confident and self-assured. However, there are some tell-tale signs that you can look out for.

One of the most common traits of a narcissist is their need for constant attention and validation. They will often seek out compliments and praise and become easily defensive if they feel like they’re not getting enough attention.

They can also be extremely manipulative, trying to control conversations and situations to get what they want. And they may have a sense of entitlement, expecting others to cater to their needs and demands.

If you suspect someone might be a narcissist, take the time to get to know them better before making any judgments. And if you do decide they’re a narcissist, it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault – they are the ones with the problem, not your fault – they are the ones with the problem, not you.

How to Talk to a Narcissist

If you find yourself talking to a narcissist, it’s important to keep your humor intact. There are a few things that you can do to help:

1. Remember that narcissists are often very good at charming people. Don’t let them get to you.

2. Don’t take everything they say seriously. Narcissists often have a very inflated view of themselves and their abilities. Don’t let them convince you that they are worth your time or attention.

3. Don’t feel obligated to agree with them or support them in any way. Narcissists often have a very rigid view of the world and don’t understand or appreciate other perspectives.

4. Don’t let them get you emotionally invested. Narcissists often use people for their own benefit and don’t care about the long-term consequences.

If you find yourself dealing with a narcissist, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to be like them. There are plenty of other ways to have a successful and fulfilling life.

Some funny comebacks to say to a narcissist

Funny Things To Say To a Narcissist
  1. “I’m sorry, were you saying something important or just admiring yourself in the reflection?”
  2. “Wow, you really know how to make everything about you, don’t you?”
  3. “I’m pretty sure your ego needs its own zip code.”
  4. “If you could bottle your self-confidence, you’d make a fortune selling it to people with self-esteem issues.”
  5. “I’m sorry, did you just interrupt me to talk about yourself? How unusual.”
  6. “You’re like a peacock, always showing off your feathers.”
  7. “I didn’t realize I was talking to the most interesting person in the room.”
  8. “You must have a lot of mirrors in your house to feed that ego.”
  9. “I’m pretty sure if there was an award for self-importance, you’d win it every year.”
  10. “Do you ever think about anything other than yourself?”
  11. “You’re like a human megaphone for your own accomplishments.”
  12. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of your own ego.”
  13. “You must be exhausted from carrying around all that self-love.”
  14. “I’m pretty sure you think the world stops spinning when you’re not in it.”
  15. “Do you ever wonder what it’s like to be interested in someone other than yourself?”
  16. “You’re like a walking ego factory.”
  17. “I’m sorry, can you please repeat that in a language that doesn’t revolve around you?”
  18. “You’re like a human black hole, always sucking the attention towards yourself.”
  19. “I’m pretty sure you think humility is just a myth.”
  20. “Do you ever stop talking long enough to listen to someone else?”
  21. “You’re like a human selfie stick, always taking pictures of yourself.”
  22. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak narcissist.”
  23. “You’re like a real-life version of the Energizer bunny, except it’s your ego that keeps going and going.”
  24. “I’m pretty sure you think the world would be a better place if everyone was just like you.”
  25. “Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?”
  26. “You’re like a human mirror, always reflecting back on yourself.”
  27. “I’m sorry, I can’t take you seriously when you’re so full of yourself.”
  28. “You’re like a human ad for your own greatness.”
  29. “I’m pretty sure you think the sun shines just for you.”
  30. “Do you ever feel lonely up there on your pedestal?”


What is the best thing to say to a narcissist?

The best thing to say to a narcissist is something that acknowledges their feelings and perspective, without reinforcing their beliefs. Try to focus on validating the person and being empathetic. Acknowledge what they are saying, but don’t agree with it. Instead of arguing, try to listen and provide understanding. Offer solutions or advice if appropriate.

What words don’t say to narcissists?

Narcissists thrive off of negative attention and criticism, so it’s important to choose your words wisely when interacting with them. Instead of attacking their character or pointing out their flaws, stick to speaking about facts and feelings without making judgments. Avoid saying things such as “you always” or “you never” as this can come across as overly confrontational. Finally, remember that the best way to protect yourself when dealing with a narcissist is by being confident and embracing your own power.

How do you finally outsmart a narcissist?

The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to understand how they operate. Narcissists are driven by the need for power and control so it’s important to be prepared and not allow them to take advantage of you. A few key strategies include setting boundaries, understanding their triggers, and staying focused on your own goals and values. Additionally, it is important to remember that outsmarting a narcissist requires you to stay calm, be confident in yourself, practice assertiveness, and remain non-reactive when speaking with them. With these strategies in hand, you’ll have the power to stand up to the narcissist’s manipulative tactics and outsmart them.

What is a narcissistic apology?

A narcissistic apology is a self-centered, insincere apology that serves to defend the narcissist’s ego and deflate any impact of their actions. Narcissists often make this type of apology to avoid taking responsibility for their words or actions, shifting blame onto the other person instead. The telltale signs of a narcissistic apology are lack of remorse, refusal to take ownership of their behavior, and denial of responsibility or accountability.


All in all, it’s important to be mindful when dealing with narcissists. While some of these jokes are amusing and can help lighten the mood in a tricky situation, they should only be used if they won’t hurt someone’s feelings or make them feel worse. If you think your words will cause harm, it’s better to just remain silent and keep any funny comments that come to mind to yourself. With that being said, we hope our list has provided you with some humorous quips for those challenging conversations.

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